How to manage reeds

I've been thinking a lot about reeds this weekend.  I need to learn how to manage my reeds differently.

I currently buy my reeds from my teacher....they are excellent.  They usually need a week or so to "blow in" but then they last for about 4-5 weeks after that.  At which point I buy another one.  I don't like playing on poor reeds...so I do have a tendency to use one reed until it dies, and then I get another one.  The old one stays in my reedbox and then when it is finally full I will reluctantly pull apart the oldest one that I haven't played for months, finally admitting to myself that I will not use it again.

I've known for some time this system is poor and can leave me vulnerable, with no back up, for important events.  I should always have 2, if not 3, reeds on the go, one being broken in, one at it's peak and one probably on the wane.  I should be disciplined about keeping the rotation going.  I should be practised on playing on reeds that are not so good!

I should not be so sentimental about keeping old reeds but should break them up when I know that I am not going to use them again.  The old reeds currently give me a false sense of security.  Having a full (playing) reed box makes me think I have options, a back up - when in reality I only have ONE reed that really works.

The problem is being compounded now that I am starting to make reeds that could work.  Up till now my reed making and reed using have been two separate activities.  My first attempts never made it as far as the instrument - they leaked badly, cracked, disintegrated.  I am beginning to improve.  My (reedmaking) reed box is becoming full of half made reeds that I don't want to break up yet as they crow and will work in my oboe -   to take them forward I need to actually spend time playing them, breaking them in, assessing them, working out what I need to adjust to improve them.  This kind of work doesn't fit into my system, at all, at the moment.

So I need to manage my reeds differently.

...or I could just buy a bigger reed box....

Summer plans

Oboe lessons are finished for the Summer.  It will be 6 weeks before they restart.  I avoid going away in school holidays as much as possible - so practice will continue as (nearly) normal.  My teacher hasn't particuarly set me additional work over the summer so there is a chance to add in a few extras and focus on some more fun things.

Practice this week has been good so far.  I feel recovered from my illness, which was sapping my energy, and my general playing is much improved now that I am not preparing to play in front of people!

So this is what I am doing:

1. Technical work - I've put together a tick box for this to help make sure I'm covering all aspects regularly.  It is based on an articulation one that my teacher did for me.  I find it helpful as I can record which exercises I've done, metronome speeds, scale of the day etc.  I spent some time yesterday doing slow broken arpeggios, trying to make them as legato and smooth as possible with no bumps at the change of note or register.  It is very difficult but I think I made a small amount of progress!

2. Studies - my teacher told me to look at Luft 23.  This one is harder than it looks.  There are 6 sharps in the key signature and I was very confused as it why it didn't seem to be in F# major.  It only clicked last night that a number of the B's are also sharpened and it is actually in C#major with 7 sharps. No wonder it makes my brain ache.  I think I can just about cope with 6 sharps in the key signature but adding additional accidentals just tips it over the edge.  It shouldn't take 6 weeks to sort it out though so I may have a look at number 24 too.  For a little light relief I'm playing through the studies I've already covered - both Luft and Ferling - to remind myself of how they go and also so I can make note of which studies are particularly useful for certain techincal difficulties.

3. Pieces - only 3 to look at for my lessons. Orinetale - the final miniature, Telemann Fantasia no 4, Hindemith Sonata 2nd movement.  All progressing at the moment.

4. Revision - I'm going through my music and pulling out pieces that I've covered in my lessons over the last 3 years.   It shows me how far I've progressed - bits I found hard I can sometimes now do easily. It's also just nice to have time to play pieces for fun!

This week i have been playing:
Britten - Metamophoses (4 out of the 6).  I love these so much - I should play them everyday!
Albinoni - Concerto in D, opus 7 no 6.  I played the first 2 movements for my Grade 7 exam.
Cimerosa - Concerto.  This is tricky, I may do some more work on this.
Fiocco - Ariosa.  I played this at the Adult learner's event last summer, lovely piece of music!

Hoepfully over the summer I will have chance to do more reed making too!

I am sure that it will be September before I know it!

Sorry, I'm busy

I've been really feeling quite low since my Saturday performance.  I am disappointed that I didn't play better and the only enjoyable thing about the whole experience was the opportunity to play my pieces with an accompanist.  It has lead me to think very much about why I am bothering with this at all - and whether there is any need to put myself through the stress of performing.

My practice session yesterday did, fortunately remind of me of why I am doing this - so my oboe won't be going on ebay just yet!  I found that without the stress of the performance my tone came back and I enjoyed playing so much more.  I went back and played some of the pieces that I've studied with my teacher over the last couple of years.  Playing the Britten Metamorphoses showed me that I have improved, even over the last few months and reminded me that I don't need to play to other people to enjoy playing music.  It is enough reward in itself.  Having said that, being able to play in orchestra and meet up with people to play chamber music is also a motivation.
So what about performing?  I don't mean orchestra concerts which are completely different. There is a sense of anonymity in an orchestra - the focus is never on one player and as a woodwinder I get to hide right at the back, which is always helpful!  Doing the kind of performance I did on Saturday is a whole different kettle of fish - it is about putting yourself on show, and being the focus of attention It involves being very vulnerable and taking something that is very personal and important to you and holding it up in front of people to criticise and comment on...and I just don't enjoy doing that! 

So why did I agree to do this in the first place?  Mainly because I was asked, the person that asked was a friend, I knew that she was struggling to find enough people and I wanted to help her out. I also knew that the only reason not to do it was fear and I don't like saying no to things because I'm frightened! It gives me the urge to step out of my comfort zone and challenge myself.  I suppose I had the idea that it would be "good for me" to face my fear of performing and get over it a bit.  I have played the oboe at Adult learner concerts before - but only 3 times - these are generally very supportive events where everybody understands what it takes to step up and play.  I found them scary and a challenge but I thought I had managed well enough to step up a level to play something like this.

But I think I underestimated how difficult I would find it.  I know that I used to have crippling performance nerves - in fact the last time I was asked to play in a concert was on piano in my second year at Uni.  I was so scared by the thought of it that by the day of the concert  I was genuinely ill.  I got a Doctor's note so I didn't have to play.  When they made playing in the end of year concert a condition of having subsidised lessons, I stopped having lessons - though I would never have admitted the real reason.  Since then I've played keyboard, piano  in church hundreds, if not thousands, of times, in front of a couple of hundred people, without feeling excessively nervous.  So I thought I had conquered that particular demon.  But of course that is completely different.  When I play at church, the focus is not on me  - people are looking at the words, focusing on what they are singing, or thinking about what is for lunch. They rarely notice who is playing or what they are doing - or so I can convince myself.  It also helps that the music I am playing then is rarely challenging and usually sits miles inside my comfort zone.  I generally feel reasonably confident in that situation and I thought that sense of confidence could translate across - but it didn't really.

So what about next time?  I don't get opportunities to play for other people very often so it may not come up again for a while, if ever!  That also means that I don't think I will be playing for other people regularly enough to beat these nerves - it will always be a big thing and will always be scary.  So why put myself through it?  I think I've realised that I don't have to! I would never say never again - but, on the slim chance that I get asked back next year, I am pretty sure I will have something else on that day. Sorry!

Room for improvement

So today was the garden party.  This was really my first solo performance outside the safe haven of adult learner concerts - and I've only done 3 of those.  In this case it wasn't to other musicians who were performing (and generally sympathetic) and not only were there "non performing" people there, but there were people there who I knew and who had never heard me play the oboe before - the pressure was on.   I had a major panic last night when I was convinced that I couldn't play any of my pieces and I was going to fall flat on my face.  But, when it came to it, I survived.  I don't think I played brilliantly but I got through and kept going.  It felt pretty terrible at the time, and I was very nervous but my boyfriend filmed it and, looking at the recording, it wasn't as bad as I thought - though still not great...

So let's stick with good, tricky, do differently:

GOOD

1. I got through all three pieces without falling apart or needing to stop - this is more than I thought I would manage last night.  Oh and I guess actually turning up and doing it despite being really scared.

2. While I'm playing my posture is not too bad and I do move a little bit to the music - more than I thought I was doing.

3. Most of the finger work sounds quite fluent even when it felt a little clunky,

4. There are times when my vibrato comes through and does sound quite natural.

5. There are occasional flashes of good phrasing and expression

TRICKY

1. I sound terrified when introducing the pieces - which I was!

2. My tone is really quite thin - I need to do some work on this over the summer. Some of this was nerves, but not all of it.

3. Intonation wasn't great - I knew this but couldn't quite seem to bring it in line.  Need some work on control during the summer.

4. A few stumbles along the way - I think the Mozart was a little ambitious!  I could just about play it but there were too many dodgy bits that didn't quite work.

5. Too much frightened rabbit and not enough expression in the music as a whole!

DO DIFFERENTLY

1. Make sure I know exactly what the set up is - there were too many surprises on the day.  I thought it would just be background music rather than having people sitting and watching as the main event.  I was also thrown by having to introduce the songs and there were more people there that I knew than expected.

2. Pick pieces that I can play well - or at least make sure I have time to practice enough to bring them up to standard.  Do not be unprepared!

3. If playing outside - make sure the music is securely fastened!  Mine didn't entirely blow away but my biggest stumble was due to it threatening to!

4. Relax and think about expression more - focus on the music.

5. Blow more air - will bring pitch up, louder would be good and will give scope for more dynamics overall.

Overall verdict - not disastrous but definitely room for improvement.

Adult Learners - Good, tricky, do differently

On Saturday I played at an Adult Learner's Event.  The set up of the day was quite informal - there were 20 or so people there and we had run throughs and rehearsals in the morning and then played to each other in a concert format in the afternoon before going out for drinks and food.

I played the second movement of the Mozart Oboe Quartet.  I wasn't really happy with how I played in the concert.  But I did it, got to the end and had some nice comments (criticism was not allowed!).  It has made me think about what I thought could have been improved and how to make it better.  At work wegive feedback in the form "Good, Tricky, Do differently" and that seems to be as good a way as any to review how it went.  So here goes:

GOOD

1. I was really pleased with the first phrase which is long and has a huge crescendo in it!  I think I really pulled that off. 

2. I got through from start to finish, I wasn't derailed by little upsets on the way and generally kept my calm.

3. I wasn't overly affected by nerves- I felt some tension, but none of the shaking hands that I got the first couple of times I played in front of people.

4. There was some nice phrasing - I did manage to get some of the shaping in.  Some of the things that I had struggled with in the practice room seemed to be much more manageable in a bigger, more resonant space.

5. My intonation was generally OK and probably better than I expected under the pressure and nerves.

TRICKY

1. I wasn't that comfortable with the piece.  I chose it because it had an easy piano accompaniment and fitted the time limit.  But I knew it would be hard to pull off and that made me feel a little uneasy about the whole thing.

2. There wasn't enough practice with the accompanist.  There were some points where fitting the two parts together were a bit tricky - even though the piano part looks straight forward it needs good co-ordination with the oboist to ensure notes are absolutely together.  Bits that were a bit dodgy in rehearsal were picked up but we didn't reinforce enough, so that the same mistakes occurred in the performance.

3. I need to take the lead more in the rehearsal with the accompanist to highlight the slightly dodgy bits and make sure that I am happy with them.  I am the one that knows the piece better, so I am the one who will pick those things up.  I suppose I felt reluctant to do so in this situation as it was meant to be a "fun" event and so I didn't want to be seen as too "picky" but in the end it meant that I was feeling on edge in the performance.  Also  I ended up trying to play the piece to fit in with the accompanist rather than as I had practiced it.  So I need to learn to take the lead in the performance as well, and let the accompanist keep up with me.

4.  Poor tone in places.  I was not happy with my reed....are oboists ever?  This has been a problematic reed from day 1.  It took ages to blow in and even then there are certain notes that just don't sound very nice and are hard to control...or they are sometimes, sometimes it works just fine! Unfortunaly due to my lesson being cancelled I hadn't had chance to buy a replacement, so it was the best one I had!  There is also a chance that it was my lip giving up a bit.  I was also not feeling that well as still getting over a cold - by the afternoon I was definitely flagging. I think the practice in the morning sounded much better so could probably have been tension in my embouchure that affected the tone.  In some places it was OK but need to work on endurance and consistency.  More long notes!

5.  Due to my slot towards the end and the overall length of the concert I ended up playing on a pretty cold instrument and reed.  I did what I could to warm it up by silently blowing through but I think that due to the stop/ start nature of the playing it probably didn't warm up properly all day.

DO DIFFERENTLY

(thinking of Saturday's Garden Party)

1. I  feel more comfortable with these pieces which definitely play to my strengths.

2. I will buy at least 1 new reed from my teacher on Wednesday and make sure I am happy with it.

3. I have already had one run through with accompanist but will have another on Saturday.  I feel more comfortable with fitting these pieces to the piano part anyway so hopefully will be fine.

4. I will do a proper warm up at the start of the day.

5. I will smile and relax and focus on the music rather than worrying about anything else.

Change of pace

It's felt very difficult this term to gain any sort of momentum in my oboe practice.  There has always been something to interrupt consecutive days of playing. It has felt quite frustrating, always seeming to be going back a step or treading water rather than moving forward.

At the end of June we had a long weekend away - which was lovely but another 3 days off.  When I came back it felt like a huge struggle to play and I managed barely longer than 30 minutes for the next 2 days.  However the next day I was off work sick, which probably explains why I felt so tired.   It was 3 days before I could face picking up  my instrument again but I was obviously feeling much better as I managed my usual practice time on the first attempt, despite nearly a week of next to no practice.  Six days later I now feel like I am on a roll again with the next few weeks looking fairly clear for keeping going and I am beginning to see progress again.

Another effect of my sickness was that I had a to cancel my oboe lesson, my teacher then told me she couldn't do this week's lesson.  So rather than having 3 lessons before summer holidays I now only have one!  Not very good news, but on the positive side it has given me a couple of additional weeks to prepare for my next lesson.  I've been surprised at how much that has taken the pressure off practice times. I don't have to play every pieces every session. I  can take my time over the lesson preparation and spend more time preparing pieces for both the Adult Learner's Concert and the Garden Party.  The change of pace has been good for me.  I need to remember that over the summer break and take time to revisit old repertoire and previous studies.  It could be good to take things at a slightly more relaxed pace, ready to tackle lessons in September more refreshed and ready to go back on the treadmill.

In other news I took my piano exam at the end of June and, last week, found out that I passed it with distinction! I am very pleased for lots of  reasons that are probably a blog post all on their own.  Needless to say it meant a lot!